bruuuno 5:05 Fri Aug 28
Becoming a lorry driver
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I am thinking of becoming a LORRY DRIVER.
Please furnish me with information on how I can achieve this.
Thank you.
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Replies - Newest Posts First ( Show In Chronological Order)
Uncle Junior
8:35 Sat Aug 29
Re: Becoming a lorry driver
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Hard work ' low pay ... Would not recommend it
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deanfergi
8:31 Sat Aug 29
Re: Becoming a lorry driver
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NR, You have to catch it first..!
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Nurse Ratched
2:51 Sat Aug 29
Re: Becoming a lorry driver
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Good job for an introvert, I would imagine.
I would like to be a lighthouse keeper. How difficult can it be to change a lightbulb every so often?
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deanfergi
2:47 Sat Aug 29
Re: Becoming a lorry driver
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https://scottdouglas.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/choke-throttle.jpg
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Crassus
11:53 Sat Aug 29
Re: Becoming a lorry driver
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Bruno
Have a look at this site mate - it is a drivers forum, there is a section for new and wanabee drivers.
Beyond it will give a real flavour of the job, good and bad
http://www.trucknetuk.com/phpBB/index.php?sid=cde6f8c7ff6cc860f64c8bd10293d3c7
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Crassus
10:55 Sat Aug 29
Re: Becoming a lorry driver
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Oh and Stobart drivers do all that and wear a dopey uniform for just over £25k
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Crassus
10:52 Sat Aug 29
Re: Becoming a lorry driver
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Bruno
You will be micro managed tighter than being in a call centre, as I said long gone are the days of leaving the yard and being your own boss. Before you have even stopped for a hooker or bookies the whole office will know as the truck grasses
A little flavour for you-
Tracker will report your location and you will be monitored second by second on a screen in the traffic office
The truck will send a tellematics report squealing for your not driving fuel efficiently for five minutes
The cab camera will produce evidence that you positioned in the wrong lane
That of course is after you have spent a packet on qualifying to be told by spotty oiks who dont know their Bognor from their Bridgend what to do
Shit job as I said
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Far Cough
10:12 Sat Aug 29
Re: Becoming a lorry driver
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Alfie ag ag ag
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MrCrowmanSir
9:47 Sat Aug 29
Re: Becoming a lorry driver
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Driving a lorry you will get to see even more so just how any cunt drivers are on the road.
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Scraper
3:46 Sat Aug 29
Re: Becoming a lorry driver
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Alfie 2:01 Sat Aug 29
A+
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Annony
2:49 Sat Aug 29
Re: Becoming a lorry driver
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Always wondered where Ice Cream van operators take a slash, always thought this must take place when they mysteriously close up shop quick time claiming they've run out of flakes or other and pull the curtains over. Must a pot to piss in out back somewhere?
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Alfie
2:01 Sat Aug 29
Re: Becoming a lorry driver
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Many is the time i have taken the ice cream driver van test
I long for the time i can drive my own round, chirrup my bell, sell oysters and 99's and sell icy wares wide, fags on the snide
Pulled up in laybys, cul de sacs, cracked cones, sold lollys - rum and mustard to old bearded ladies, milka lollies little and cheap to poles and the unemployed.
I sell 10 b and h for four and a half quid to werid looking kids on special measures housing estates full of glue eyed and loads of roads and dived in hedges and kicked down walls.
My patch is streets with uncollected rubbish and dead dogs, decomposing while me bell rings the cornetto job
Stones thrown off me roof and my price board gobbed on
Pootling round shit holes, hocking ice creams, job done
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lowermarshhammer
1:57 Sat Aug 29
Re: Becoming a lorry driver
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We are world champion crumpet spotters, alas we can only look and not touch.
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bruuuno
1:55 Sat Aug 29
Re: Becoming a lorry driver
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Ah, lorry drivers get lots of fanny too. Dead prossie fanny but fanny nontheless
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lowermarshhammer
1:50 Sat Aug 29
Re: Becoming a lorry driver
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RLS 9.18
''Dangerous but comes with the same perks as being a tube driver/BA pilot''
As a tube driver I reckon a BA pilot has way more perks than I do.
FANNY GALORE for starters.
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Annony
1:42 Sat Aug 29
Re: Becoming a lorry driver
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Skip lorry driver another I can think of, although you may have to first perfect how to crush little old ladies on Marry Poppins bikes.
Petrol and Milk tankers already done, but I thought I would add Sewage tanker drivers to the MIX, maybe more in demand as such a SHIT job.
Just don't kick up a STENCH if you get it.....
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ILOVEPAOLODICANIO
1:37 Sat Aug 29
Re: Becoming a lorry driver
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Can I knock off one of your loads? I'll give you a black eye so noone gets suspicious?
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Leonard Hatred
1:25 Sat Aug 29
Re: Becoming a lorry driver
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And prostitutes.
They know the score.
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Hammer and Pickle
1:15 Sat Aug 29
Re: Becoming a lorry driver
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Occupational hazard.
Deal with it.
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Leonard Hatred
1:13 Sat Aug 29
Re: Becoming a lorry driver
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That's why I keep getting put in prison.
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